wienerville

I just saw a car with 'Things haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister' on the bumper. It made me think of other favorites 'Nuke the unborn gay whales' and 'I'd smack you but shit splatters'. And of course the ubiquitous 'Visualize Whirled Peas'. Jeez, you couldn't drive ten feet in Boulder without seeing that one back in the nineties. Oh yeah, the other two hilarious but strangely tragic stickers - 'Kerry-Edwards' and 'W' from last year. What'll they think of next?

I've been enjoying this blog for a while now. This guy writes about abusing Nigerian scamsters, cooking barbeque, making beer, and his very, very conservative politics with such panache that it's a joy to read even if you don't care about, or agree with any of it. He's really topped himself with this entry on the 'joys' of silicone. Anybody who writes a cookbook called 'Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man' is worth your time, doncha think? Pay a visit and have some fun.

Early this week Sunni politicians secured a deal with the Iraqi government to allow to further tweaking of the constitution (almost certain to be ratified on Saturday). The Washington Post carried a good piece about it here. Here's the key graf:

The major concession from Tuesday's talks was agreement by the Shiites and Kurds that a committee be created early next year to consider amendments to the constitution, if voters approve it Saturday, said Ali Debagh, a top Shiite official involved in the talks. Any changes recommended by the committee would have to be ratified by a two-thirds vote of parliament and a national referendum, Debagh said.

None of the commentary I've seen names this what it is - a fig leaf. The Sunnis tried everything, from boycotts to bombs, to prevent this new regime from taking hold in Iraq. They've now thrown in the towel, banking on the possibility that some of their concerns will get through a new committee and then pass a 2/3 vote plus a referendum. This is a major defeat for the Baathist remnant. This agreement was little more than a graceful way for the Sunnis to surrender their untenable position and enter the political fray as equals. A great day for Iraq.

Long-time acquaintence Richard Combs has an entry full of quotes relating to firearms rights, some by unexpected people:

Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms, as the blackest. -- Mahatma Gandhi, Gandhi, An Autobiography, page 446

and some from the usual suspects:

Those who beat their swords into plowshares usually end up plowing for those who didn't. -- Ben Franklin

I found the one by Freud to be especially pungent. Enjoy.

Two tales today. These have accumulated for years and todays batch, heard in just the last couple of weeks, have jolted me from my delicious cement-like lethary.

My cousin Joe was leading some tourists to view grizzly bears in Alaska. On the trail was the local guide, followed by the clients, with Joe bringing up the rear. Around a corner they confronted a disquieting sight. A big griz was sitting on the trail staring at them with curiosity. Just about the last thing anyone would want is the interest of a griz. Joe started to back up and the local guide quickly told him to stay put. Look meek and mild, don't look in the bear's eyes, and above all - don't make yourself look like prey - by running for instance. The bear surveyed the humans for a while, then grew bored, gave a loud harrumph, and walked down the hillside. Just as they were starting to feel relieved the bear wheeled around and raced up the hill almost brushing Joe with it's flank before disappearing in the woods. No comment as to the color or consistency of everyone's shitstains.

I told this to my friend Rich in Ft. Collins. He saw my bear and raised a lion. Just the week before (maybe as I was hearing Joe's bear story in San Francisco) a fellow fireman was bow-hunting for elk in the Leadville area. He had a pistol strapped to his chest and was sitting down with his back to a tree. His cousin, also bow-hunting, was on the other side of the hill, behind him. He heard some elk coming in his direction ( a gaggle of 600 pound critters is noisy! ) but they stopped before he could get a look at them and took off in another direction. Still keeping perfectly still, he pondered the situation, wondered of he'd spooked them with his scent or some noise. Suddenly he heard a loud sniffing sound. Very loud. He turned his head and found that his nose was inches from the nose of a large male mountain lion. A big cat, easily capable of bringing down an adult male human. The cat must have seen the stillness of his prey and was wondering whether to kill first or just start eating. He fumbled for the pistol, as it was impossible to draw the bow at such close quarters. After much fumbling he finally drew the piece and aimed at the lion's head, seeing that his cousin was on the hilltop with his bow drawn on the beast. The lion was square between the two of them and neither could shoot without endangering the other ( so I can't spell jeopordizing, sue me) the lion decided that there were easier lunches to be had and trotted off. Again, no comment etc. etc. Oh yeah, I folded.

In the future; the bear that wasn't there, cat in a box, the elk and the melon, and others.